Top 5 Hazards of My Sedentary Life

As a regular working stiff and slave to my laptop, I've gotten into some bad habits. Don't get me wrong, I love my so called "New Economy" job and the lifestyle it provides; working from home, making my own hours, not punching a clock, etc... Nevertheless, I can't help comparing my current working conditions to past circumstances. And I can say without any hesitancy that while my overall mental and emotional satisfaction is greatly improved, I'm afraid those improvements have been made at the expense of my overall physical condition. I find this disturbing as of course I'm getting older at the same time - that's two strikes against me. This realization though, has me determined to make some small behavioral changes. Here are a few of the mishaps and occupational hazards I've recently fallen victim to and what I'm doing about each of them:

Hazard #1 - Tripping over my laptop's power cord
Solution - I've taken pains to move the configuration of my furniture so the power code is no longer in my walking path.

Hazard #2 - Muscle atrophy by way of sedentary nature of work
Solution - More frequent trips to the fridge. Couple that with the inevitable extra trips to the bathroom and now I have a viable exercise regime.

Hazard #3 - Coffee spilled in my lap.
Solution - I invested $30 in a Laptop Desk which has a nice surface for both wireless mouse and beverage.

Hazard #4 - Neck & shoulder strain
Solution - I keep the T.V. on while I work, forcing me to look up whenever Maury reveals who the baby's real daddy is.

Hazard #5 - Strained & tired eyes
Solution - Reduce the amount of time I spend on non-work related laptop viewing activities (YouTube & porn mostly) . I'm already on the laptop 14 hrs a day, if I just cut out the porn, I should be able to reduce that number down to a more reasonable 12.

Redhead Hall of Fame

· Andrew Jackson -'Old Hickory' was the seventh US president and his mug is on the $20 bill
· Antonio Vivaldi - classical baroque composser, best known for the epic 'Four Seasons'
· Axl Rose - baddest man on the planet from about 1989 - '91
· Bette Davis – 2-time Oscar winner, who’s eyes inspired Kim Carnes
· Bette Midler - Grammy & Tony award winner, 2-time Oscar nominee and the wind beneath my wings
· Beverley Sills – legendary American opera soprano
· Bill Walton – 'The Big Redhead', arguably the greatest college basketball player ever
· Boris Becker - former world #1, won first Wimbledon Single title at age 17
· Carol Burnett - maybe the funniest woman of all time
· Charles Darwin - world's most influential naturalist and author of "On Origin of Species"
· Christopher Columbus - 'discoverer' of the New World and slaughterer of indigenous peoples
· Conan O'Brien - host of NBC's Late Night with...
· D.H. Lawrence – English writer and social critic vilified in life, vindicated in death
· David - second King of Israel and slayer of Goliath
· David Bowie - English 70's glam-rock icon
· David Caruso - currently the coolest guy on TV
· Elizabeth I - maybe the greatest of English monarchs, daughter of Henry VIII
· Galileo Galilei - 'father' of modern science & astronomy and (supposed) inventor of the telescope
· George Bernard Shaw – Irish playwright and only person to win both a Nobel Prize and an Oscar
· George Washington - first president of the US and hero of the American Revolution
· Henri Matisse - giant of twentieth century art
· Henry VIII - King of England, prolific wife whacker and founder of the Anglican Church
· J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter author and newly minted billionaire
· Jack Nicklaus – just the greatest golfer of all time
· James “Jimmy” Cagney – Oscar winner best known for playing tough gangster types
· James Joyce – Irish literary great, author of; Ulysses & Finnegans Wake
· Jean-Paul Satre – leader of the Existentialist movement
· John Glenn - has the right stuff and was the first American in space
· Julia Roberts - 'Pretty Woman' and Oscar winner
· Julianne Moore - 4-time Academy Award nominee and bonafide beauty
· Kate Winslet - Oscar winning actress who's career went UP with the Titanic
· Katharine Hepburn – 4-time Academy Award winner
· L. Ron Hubbard - founder of the Church of Scientology
· Leon Trotsky – leading Bolshevik and founding member of the Soviet Union
· Lindsay Lohan - much hyped and inebriated young Hollywood star
· Lizzie Borden - took and axe and gave her mother 40 whacks...when she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41...
· Lord Byron – scandalous Baron of Byron and romantic poet
· Lucille Ball - unquestioned queen of comedic acting
· Marg Helgenberger - CSI hottie
· Mark Twain – news of his death may have been greatly exaggerated, but the color of his hair was certainly not
· Napoleon Bonaparte – diminutive conqueror of Europe
· Nicole Kidman - happily Tom Cruiseless major Hollywood heavyweight
· Rita Hayworth – silver screen starlet
· Robert Redford - movie icon and all-around man of conscience
· Rod Laver – Australian tennis legend was ranked #1 in the world for 7 straight years
· Ron Howard - TV icon and film directing extraordinaire
· Socrates - 'father' of Western Philosophy and proponent of the Socratic Method...coincidence?
· Susan Sarandon - ultimate MILF and all around modern woman of conscience
· Thomas Jefferson - author of the Declaration of Independence and third US president
· Victoria I – the sun never set on this Empress of England’s realm
· Vincent Van Gogh – earless Dutch master impressionist
· Vladimir Llyich Ulyanov “Lenin” – father of Realpolitik and Soviet Communism, oh…and Leninism
· William Blake – iconic nineteenth century English poet
· William Shakespeare – what can I say?
· Willie Nelson – the 'Red Headed Stranger' and music legend
· Winston Churchill – savior of Western Civilization
· Woody Allen - movie icon and comic genius